I was born in San Francisco, in 1971, to hippie parents. I've often wondered what it would be like to grow up in an inner city. I’ve been in a lot of what people call “bad” neighborhoods, but I didn’t grow up in a large city. I definitely lived in ‘projects’ though.
Maybe I was 1 and this is the only photo of us all together
My mom and I moved to Marin county after my parents split. I think I was 2. We lived in pretty extreme poverty. My dad disappeared. Trying to survive when I was little was no joke. There were always lots of drugs laying around our house. People came and went a lot. I used to throw away needles, bags of cocaine, and grew up way faster than any kid should have. I remember being very angry about that at a young age. I would tell my mom at 5 years old that "people don’t act right when they take drugs." I was an isolated kid. I went to 8 different schools growing up and always felt like an outcast. To say I related to to the main character of Moonlight is an understatement. I saw myself as a child in him, and I wanted to hug us both. I was angry at his mother as if she were mine.
"Little," feeling as if he doesn't belong - The camera movement when they wrestle makes you feel like you are wrestling with them. The shaky, hand-held movement, with zooms and closeups puts you in the action.
I couldn't help but feel like I was walking along with Chiron through the whole film, intimately; like I was growing up with him. I ached for him as a small boy, craving the love of his mother, friends, companionship altogether. Wishing she would get her shit together so he wasn't so alone, but knowing that she wasn't going to. At such a young age already wondering why he's not like everyone else; already feeling like he doesn't belong. He built walls. The camera showed us this. So often in this film, the director of photography uses a first-person-point-of-view to force us to see (and feel) what Chiron was.
"Little" despondent that his mom can't get it together. Many of the scenes where Chiron has peace are hued in blue but when he's at home we see reds, auburn's oranges and pinks. Much warmer colors that convey the hotness of his situation.
Through the three phases of Chiron's life, I was bound to his story. Feeling like I was part of his daily life was gifted masterfully by D.P. James Laxton (also born in San Francisco). His use of unconventional framing, movement, and closeups are a big part of the reason that many of us who watch this film feel like we are right next to Chiron the whole time. The camera always brings us right into the action. My favorite scene from the film is when Juan, whose impeccable performance by Mahershala Ali wins an academy award, teaches Chiron to swim. The camera sits a bit above the water but also just below the water line. You are swimming with them. It’s the first time Chiron has peace. When you grow up being tortured, you remember those moments of tranquility deeply. They are just so rare.
Juan teaching Chiron to swim and you are in the water with them
In the final Act of Moonlight we see that Chiron now calls himself "Black" after a stint in prison. Although I never did prison time (I didn’t say I hadn’t been arrested), I sure went through a rebellious phase and got into a lot of trouble. Getting knocked up, instead of locked up is what saved me. I yearned for Black's happiness in the same way I yearned for my own in my 20's. He deserved it. He'd put up with enough. He built an emotional suit of armor along with his 20 inch biceps and it seemed impossible that anyone could hurt him any more. He had finally come into his own.
The color palette of most of the last act is filled with warmer tones when Black returns to Miami. This kept me curious about a potential happy ending. Most of the red/hot pink/orange scenes from earlier in the film were negative for Chiron. A subtle clue that Chiron had changed his destiny.
In the end, after deeply understanding the hurt and pain "Little" had gone through as a child, after clenching from the torture of Chiron dealing with his drug addicted mother, and wincing at the thought of how Black was certainly tormented in prison, Chiron finally gets the hug I was desperate to give him the entire film. And I felt it.
Chiron meets Kevin after years apart and they share an embrace, followed by what I construe as a memory of Black saying goodby to the tortured "Little" boy within him.
I loved the slower pace of this movie. It felt like real life. We've grown so accustomed to the blockbuster that we don't have a penchant for anything that doesn't explode. There is also no doubt that some viewers will feel homophobic discomfort that is entrenched throughout the film and in Chiron’s hatred of self. I make no apologies for this. It’s time we stop letting society destroy people because they don’t understand them. It’s called empathy...we can all do better.
CHIRON’S STORY IS MEANT TO TEACH THIS AS WELL!
Film is often an artistic representation of real life. For me, this particular interpretation of survival really struck a cord, as it obviously did for many others by the high accolades it received.
And thank you Barry Jenkins for letting me be in this movie.
My little self thanks you too<3
I definitely give this film 5 hearts but they are Blue to match the Hue of Moonlight :) 💙💙💙💙💙
